WHEN DEPRESSION TAKES OVER

Cries of laugher coming from children gratify the outdoors; attracted by today’s atmosphere… a glorious sun rips from corner to corner… a sweet breeze rolls in the air… it looks like a perfect world on this afternoon summer, where the heat neither sweats nor shivers…
Then, why am I crying? I’m blind. I can’t see the sun shine. A waterfall of rain persists on running out of my eyes; leaving me in a state of exhaustion… There is no explanation! Why do I feel dry when my sheets are wet? I feel that creeping is my path…just want to sleep…but…there is no dreams in my sleep… miserable thoughts of the heart consumed them… poor, slave of nostalgia without any pocket money… here and there I beg with the hope I will find enough to get me alert…
I wake up with a violent thunder, a ray enters my room…it scared me deep down… but… I’m still alive… My heartbeat is jumping as if sardine just caught at sea… I look at myself in the mirror… making an effort to smile… “Come on girl smile, its enough of complaining.” “Who told you I’m complaining?”
The day passes by gentle…I ate…I smiled…I saw the sun shine yet under the rain…Do I have fever? In a blink of an eye, the night falls in my lap… Suddenly, I feel something pushing me… “Come on, go inside, and don’t pretend you don’t know.” “ …???…”
An electric shock runs through my body. “Oh! What is going on with my heart?” I fill it dissolving… its hurting…its suffocating me… “Why are you doing this to me? I had a reasonable day …” “No!!! Shut up and go in…” I enter in a state of coma. Once again, I’m robbed, like I live in plenty…This thief might think that I live in a castle made of happiness, to violate the fragility of feelings, or maybe he thinks that I made of starlight smiles…
I feel death…Or do I want to die?… The force pushes me with such strength to that place… where little balls await me… have them in my hand,…they look funny…I’m going to take them all… “This way you won’t rob me no more…”
I perceive the pain in my empty womb…I hear murmurs and laughter… a tear falls and paralyzes forever in the air…state of confusion and lamentation…suffering without cause…
“I Don’t want to go anymore… surrendering to you…I don’t want to die in your close arms … DEPRESSION!!!”
“I want to be me again!!! Where are my pants that fill me with lances? I’m a warrior!!! Do you hear me?”
Everything is dark…I have entered the enchanting slavery forest… “Where are the artificial stars that belong to it…the light…? …Oh! My soul is the one that needs to find … Light…Oh! Yes…the Light…”
Where is the light that used to focus on me? No! I don’t want to be a well of attentions or lamentations…
I want peace, so my heart can be lullabied by a sweet melody… yet I’m not imploring for complete happiness… I’m not greedy… I just want a little bit of light…so I can continue my voyage…
“Leave me alone. Ok…it’s enough of damage…”
Reconciling little by little, I go on, but without falling here and there…my light is dim… enemy has an eye on me…the important thing is, I found my pants…I try to defend myself with the most precious thing…my heartbeat…signals that I’m alive…and can continue my fight…

“This is only a little piece of what a depression can do…it can take you to a road of hell…”